Neil Hamburger

Spaceland - June 1, 2008

Live Review by Sean P. Lambert

Having been delightfully horrified by Neil Hamburger appearances on the Jimmy Kimmel Show as well his Poolside Chats, my girl and I knew what we were in for. We expected tasteless jokes, uncomfortable silences; a whole slew of beverages, noisy throat-clearing and a take on stand up that doesn’t resonate with your casual comedy crowd.  Throw some country rhythms into the mix, do it all on a Sunday night and I was super interested to see what kind of curious Angelenos will plunk down a sawbuck just to witness the ensuing train wreck.

After having a hell of a time just getting a couple glasses of red at the nearby restaurant, we finally got into the club and went straight for the bar. My girl asked the bartender, “What’s a good drink to follow Merlot?” “Tequila,” he replied. We were off to a good start. The crowd was a mix of balding fat dudes, a few well-tanned Orange County girls and the usual concert-going types you might find at any show, no matter its worth. We got a table towards the rear and settled in for the opening act, IMAGINE "the" BAND - a guy in a blue cotton jumpsuit, thick-toed training sneakers and big headphones that identified himself as Egos Personos.

His show was built around the premise of this one freaky, energetic guy leading a band in tandem with the music only he can hear (through his headphones). The routine went on way too long, but his commitment to the bit was absurdly inspiring. Things got even stranger when he lifted up a standing box painted to look like some kind of poor man’s stereo equipment to reveal a child-sized mannequin in Superman garb. The two of them went through a “duet” of sorts that was about as uncomfortably laughable as anything I’ve witnessed since the last time I took cross-town public transportation. I made a point of talking with Egos Personos when he got off stage sans costume. His real name is Eric W. Pierson and he’s claimed to have had actually once opened for none other than Peaches. Weird.

By the time Neil Hamburger took the stage with his backing country band, with his signature one drink in hand and two others cradled in reserve, I was deep in my cups and ready for the filth to commence. He started off singing “Jug Town,” which could safely be billed as the single off of Sings Country Winners, a collection of tunes that might pass as legit if the world’s “worst” comedian weren’t fronting the outfit. If Johnny Cash scored a hit with “A Boy Named Sue,” there’s got to be place for a guy like Neil Hamburger to get his due, right?

Following the music, Neil got right into the material.

“How many asshole sons of bitches are here tonight?” The crowd yelled and whooped in response. “Get the hell out of here! Fuck you if you don’t like that. What the hell is wrong with you people? Let’s get this party started you sons a’ bitches!” The crowd gave it all back, screeching and clamoring for more, reveling in the mock abuse of our paid for tormentor. He lead the band in a few more numbers, including “The Recycle Bin,” where apparently you can’t throw away such items as KFC chicken bones…a stillborn…a sugar free birthday cake…and certainly not his career.

Between songs he went further on the attack and even dropped a few jokes for good measure.

“Why did the buxom blonde have so much trouble driving at night? Because she had Down syndrome.” The crowd got uneasy and heckled loudly in overly-animated gestures. Neil shot back. “Shut up assholes before I stomp on your head…I’m not really in a financial position to do so…I better play some music to cover up the sound of total silence.” Considering it was a school night, and I had just tipped the waitress excessively for my previous PBR, we decided to leave before things got too ugly. I think we made the right choice.