Trainwreck

The Wreckoning

(Jojo Entertainment)

Record Review by Angel M. Baker

Part spoof rock band, part skin bearing genetic mutants, Trainwreck is the awkward cousin of the brilliant, never misfire, Tenacious D. This writer will not apologize for the comparison because the comparison must be made. Though I worship Kyle Gass like Trekkies worship Gene Roddenberry, like Hindus worship the Lingus, like fat kids worship chocolate cake, I can’t so readily bum this train simply because KG dons a wig and jokes about mustaches and BLTs. Where over-the-top rock bands like The D, Supersuckers and The Darkness succeed, Trainwreck falls short. Pinpointing the void is no easy task but it drops somewhere in the middle of feeling forced and being less of a rock tribute and more of a rock mockery.

Readers, you may want to play The Wreckoning at your next white trash Christmas party because a good brunt of the record plays like background to every '80s motorcycle bar you’ve every been to. (For some of you, that might be more than others.) This isn’t to say that each band member is not a great musician. They are. KG is – we love to watch his fat little sausage fingers furiously noodle the neck of a Martin, switching from classical interludes to face melting riffs like the suit to cape donning Superman of rock. And The Wreckoning lets KG noodle, and it lets Darryl Lee Donald (hint hint fake name) belt out hair metal arias in eardrum piercing wails, and it gives us some bizarre flute solos, too. But what The Wreckoning doesn’t do is stand out.

Songs like “Runnin,” “Real Deal,” “J.B. Shredman,” get lost in the record. Amidst 16 pretty distinct tracks, it’s like they are that wallpaper shirt Zack Braff wears in The Garden State.    

There are good, not great, songs on this record though that will inspire singing in showers in river towns across America. “Tim Blankenship” proudly boasts fellatio in a Z28. “Bothered and Hot” is a true '80s anthem a la Poison’s “Talk Dirty To Me” and Warrant’s “Cherry Pie” (which, incidentally, turned Jani Lane into a bloated, suicidal version of his former self). “Milk The Cobra” is undeniably catchy and “Brodeo” is lyrically the best track, touting the increasingly popular bromance theme. 

This writer has not had the privilege of seeing Trainwreck live, and I have no doubt they give a great show, but, unfortunately, The Wreckoning doesn’t destroy earfannies the way Trainwreck promises it will.